If Life is Mundane, 2.0

• Question: I CAN ASK YOU ANYTHING!!! not really, i won't i just have a small question big sister. WHEN DID YOU GET A CAT?!?! how could you have a cat/have a friend with a cat and not tell me about the cat! also doesn't the pd go on the end? like nypd or lapd. - Anonymous
• Answer:

  Oh, you mean Zaza the love of my life and the best cat in the world? She’s not mine, sadly :( BUT I’m moving into a new place and it has a dog called Stanley!

aka the animated adventures of Kristy the Bug

Today was one of my final exams and I had spent weeks, nay, months preparing! Any and all relatives can thus rest assured and stop reading henceforth. Look! Puppies!

Look at the puppies. They are puppies. Love them with your heart. Think of rainbows.

Pssssst - non-relatives huddle here! So as I was saying, one of my final exams was coming up and I was feeling underprepared because I’d spent the last three days in a frantic cramming session. But then I had a brainwave! I would create MNEMONICS! I would create FLASHCARDS! I would create MNEMONICS ON FLASHCARDS AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE AMAZING!

AMAZING LIKE A PUPPY! 

In hindsight I may have gotten a tad overexcited about the revolutionary mnemonics-on-flashcards idea. In my head it looked like this:

I may have told many entirely uninterested friends who were kind enough to encourage me and tell me I was, of course, the Queen of Mnemonics and yes, of course singing the symptoms of Catatonia to Frere Jacques was a good idea. And yes, of course they would then look at the symptoms I typed into the chat box and sing along in their heads. 

I am, in hindsight, a very weird friend when studying. 

But there was ONE friend who shall remain nameless, who did not appreciate my mnemonics. One friend who dared to brush aside the brilliance that was my latest mnemonic: the initials of the words made the acronym PDCRU so I had drawn a police department crew. In baseball caps. Being crew-like. As one does.

This is not a bad drawing. It is intentionally child-like and simplistic to indicate the joy life brings when one draws policemen and…

Fine. I can’t really draw policemen. Happy now?

This particular person not only brushed aside my mnemonic masterpiece, they scoffed at the idea of needed mnemonics.

“I am too brilliant for mnemonics,” they said, “I hereby laugh at your sad attempts to remember things with your poor, tiny t-rex sized brain.”

conversation has been slightly modified so the reader can feel my pain and hate this person as much as I did. 

Yes I know it’s not good journalism. Shut up. 

I looked back down at my PD cru. They gazed up at me, their smiling, badly drawn faces shining with happiness and innocence now lost from my soul.

Then I had an idea. And I added two more figures to the drawing.

I drew this person being beaten up by my awesome PD crew, and immediately felt a lot better.

Then I felt kind of pathetic that my outrage could be so easily satiated.

So I decided I needed to share my revenge to validate it.

And that was how I ended up spending half an hour before my exam e-mailing my picture to all my friends and loved ones instead of studying. 

• Tumblr Spambot: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink5(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.
• Me: It's amazing how well you know me, lolsummer69. I have indeed always dreamed of seeing you naked. The first time I ever saw you, all I could think about was "Dang I just really want to see you naked". Then, as my mind went deeper into the relationship we could have I started to really see past your physical beauty and suddenly I realized that you were actually a very deep and meaningful person with whom a relationship was viable, nay, necessary. LOL you said, hiding the deeper pain you felt at having to approach me with your face hidden. I felt every gut wrenching soul sucking out loud laugh you made as if it was an arrow to my heart. LOL indeed, lolsummer69. LOL indeed.

themumblrmachine:

Taken by my girlfriend.

That would be meeeeee

smulligan:

Let’s do for Community what “I’m With Coco” did for Conan. #sixseasonsandamovie #savecommunity

community-confessions:

This isn’t really a confession, but I felt it was appropriate given today’s news.

themumblrmachine:

First Lolcat, mission accomplished.

Meow

my boyfriend is talented :)